CH-CH-CH-CHANGES

I got one of the best compliments last night. A friend was trying to describe someone as being hyper and uptight and he said, "remember how you used to be?" The operative words being "used to be." There was a time when I would have been deaf to those words and only heard the 'hyper and uptight' part thus becoming angry thinking I'd been insulted. Instead, and this is just another way that I have grown, I was so flattered. I've known for a long time that I was too hyper and uptight. And I have spent just as long trying to become more content and relaxed about life. Any time you try to change, be it psychologically, emotionally, or physically, it helps to have an outside perspective. You can truly believe that you've improved, but often are oblivious to actions and emotions that have become 'old hat.' So for someone to randomly recognize something that I have been feeling-a sense of calm and ease about my life despite it's difficulties-was so encouraging. The fact is I'm not entirely happy with things in my life right now, but I have learned to let go of that and embrace what I do love about my life. So what's caused this change? How the Hell should I know. Maybe it's where I'm living right now. I won't lie and say I haven't felt depressed here, but it's not a lingering feeling. It is so beautiful and the pace of life is so calming here that it makes it hard to focus on the negative. I've joked to people that it feels like my ch'i is in alignment here. Maybe. The fact is...I don't really care why I feel so good. If I sat around trying to figure it out, it would waste the same amount of time as sitting around worrying about what is wrong. Here's a secret that I've picked up somewhere along the line: it's all about the moment. This moment. Right now. Make the most of this moment because it's only there once. When I have a bad moment, I let it go and focus on the now.

What other changes are happening? Well, I will be getting a tattoo in two weeks. Ok, Mom, I see the white arrows. I have thought long and hard about this and looked for something that has meaning and is unique. If I'm going to do this, I want it to be something that no one else will have. And I'm not just going to anyone. This tattoo artist is an artist in every sense of the word. Mom, if you click on that link you can see his work. I know some of it is violent, but if you look at the picture that is two spots above the black box you will understand why I'm going to him. You know what cranes mean to me. And that is a Japanese crane. But I know I don't need to explain myself to you. I have friends in their 20's and 30's who hide things from their parents for fear of what they may think. I am comforted in the knowledge that getting a tattoo or piercing or coloring my hair some funky color will never diminish my family's feelings for me. They know that it is what's inside that matters.

Nuff said about that. What else is changing? Mike has just completed his first year of teaching. Kudos to him for surviving the craziness that's high school angst. Now he is looking forward to a second year in a new place. No idea where yet, but I'm excited for him. The journey that is his life is such a wild ride. I know he will succeed no matter where he goes or what he does. I only hope that I will always be sitting in the bleachers, cheering him on.

And last, but not least, Mom is selling her house. This will be a huge change for her. She will be leaving a beautiful home in a small town to move back to big Kazoo. Change is always scary, but I know she is making the right decision and will make the next place she lives just as lovely as the last. It's not just the nice things she has, but her warm, beautiful soul that makes where she lives so cozy and comforting.

To all of us and the changes that may come our way: enjoy every moment that you can.

Namaste