THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH?

• truth: the true or actual state of the matter; conformity with fact or reality; verity.
• reporter: a person employed to gather and report news, as for a newspaper, wire service, or television station.

I recently watched a very interesting documentary called Weapons of Mass Deception. It was very enlightening for several reasons. The director, Danny Schechter, is a media critic. That means he analyzes how journalists and news agencies report the news. In this film he scrutinizes how the Iraq war was covered, from 9/11 until 2004, when the film was released. I'll be honest, I'm not naive when it comes to news. I have known for a long time that the business of reporting news is just that-a business. For some time, the focus has been on the bottom line. How much can we make off this war, or this natural disaster, or this trial? Although there were many specific things, like the alleged attacks on journalists by American troops (more on that in a moment), I didn't know about, there really wasn't any smoking gun revealed in this movie. Let's face it, hindsight is 20/20 and if we (as Americans) are honest, we are as culpable for the lack of unbiased news that we watched. We wanted to see the nighttime bombing of Baghdad. We did not want to see the civilian casualties of our cluster bombs. We were hungry for an enemy and when our government pointed the finger at Saddam Hussein, we breathed a unified 'go get him!' They fed us the bait and we took it. Then they reeled us in. 'They' being a combination of the media, the military, and our government. So did Mr. Schechter wow me with unprecedented revelations? No. Should this film be watched? Absolutely, now and again in 2 years, and another 2 years, and another, and another. We need to be reminded of what went wrong and why.
But just as Schechter points to a lack of bias by news agencies during the war, we should try to be as unbiased as possible when watching this film. Case in point-the afore mentioned 'attack' on journalists. The film shows footage taken by reporters of an American tank firing on a hotel that was known to be housing said reporters. The military stated, at the time, that the battalion was fired upon by someone in that region and they were acting in self-defense. The film makers ask you to listen and recognize that there are no shots heard prior to the attack. And this is true, you can't hear anything; however, the footage shown is edited! The tank is first shown with it's gun aimed away. The film cuts to an interview with a survivor. When the edit comes back to the footage, the gun is now aimed directly at the hotel. I'll admit, I'm not a military advisor, but I don't think the gun on a tank can move in a flash. So where is the footage of the tank's gun aiming at the hotel? And what does it show? The fact is that the footage, as shown, is terrifying. I can't imagine what it's like to watch as a 120mm gun fires directly at me, but I have an idea after watching the film. So was the truth of that incident shown? I'm not sure. After thinking about what I had seen, I don't think so. The fact is I wasn't presented with a completely unbiased view of what happened. That footage was edited to evoke a specific response and it was successful.
So what is the truth? I've been thinking a great deal about 'truth' lately. What I believe is that the truth lies in between either side of a story. It is human nature to interpret things, but what is often lacking is the gathering of facts from both sides. That was the failure of the American public during this war. We let our emotions drive our judgements and now we want answers from the people we feel duped us. Let's face it folks, we duped ourselves!

I TRIED, BUT I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT

Tonight was a beautiful night, so I decided to drive up the hill to look at the stars. Unfortunately, the full moon created a lot of light pollution, so there weren't as many visible stars as I would have liked. I was leaning against my car when I noticed a star that seemed to be flickering differently than the others. I have watched the night sky several times and know that stars 'twinkle.' If you're interested in knowing why here is an explanation as to why. The article says that stars often 'twinkle' different colors. That is what initially drew my attention to this star. Most stars that I have observed might vary between different shades of yellow or blue; however, this star flashed (for lack of a better word) from blue to green to orange to red and back to blue. There was no pattern as to what colors flashed or when either.
The article also seems to explain the next thing that caught my eye-that stars appear to move. It does not explain the movement that I KNOW I saw. Once I decided to watch this 'star' more closely, I sat down in my car and stayed very still. There were power lines spanning across my field of vision, so I used them as a point of reference. It took a few moments for it to make any apparently outrageous motions. At first it only appeared to be moving across the sky at a steady pace, so I decided that it must be a satellite. Then it changed direction, ever so slightly at first then more dramatically. It did so many incredible maneuvers (that's what it looked like) that I started to eliminate options for what I was watching.

• It wasn't a satellite: satellites, although they can visibly move across the sky, tend to stay on a specific course (even when they're crashing into the ground),
• It was not a plane: no matter how it's flying, planes will move across the sky; unless it was some kind of Harrier or helicopter,
• In general, any aircraft can only stay in one spot for so long: I watched this thing for close to an hour; it moved a lot, but never any closer or farther away and it never moved great distances across the sky,
• The movements it made were too extreme to be a normal aircraft: I thought that perhaps it was someone learning to fly a helicopter (night experience, maybe), but it began to do more and more outlandish things,

So what kind of crazy movements did it make? It would accelerate quickly and stop immediately. Then change direction and do the same thing. A couple of times, it appeared to zig-zag three or four times. It did what I call a 'butterfly' turn. In a small airplane, it is when the craft starts low and flies steeply, turning at the top of the turn until is coming back down and then doing the same on the other side. Looking down, it might look like the plane is drawing a butterfly pattern; whereas, looking from the side it would look like a 'U'. That is the motion I saw. It did what looked like either a loop or a barrel roll, but it was too fast for a helicopter. And the craziest motion it made was what I would call leap-frogging or hopping. That is exactly the motion it made: hop, hop, hop. It did this several times. I've watched several helicopter videos, but saw nothing like this. During all this time, I maintained the power lines as a reference.
What, then, did I see? I don't know. I tried every logical explanation I could think of, and then it would do something even more radical. All I know is what I saw and it was not anything I can explain. I don't expect anyone to believe that I saw a UFO (I'm not even sure), but I would hope that those of you who know me would believe that I'm telling the truth, that I was not under the influence of anything, and you wouldn't try to be discouraging or condescending.
I know that what I saw, be it earthly or otherwise, was amazing and inexplicable and I am excited by that.

HOLIDAY IDENTITY THEFT

I want to start this blog off by asserting that I love my family. And any comments made in this blog are not to be taken as my attempt to blame anyone else for the person I am.
That being said...
Holidays. It's the time of year where we gather with our family whether we want to or not. Some people, myself included, don't mind being around people who share a similar gene pool. I am fortunate to have some really cool people in my herd. But I still find that there is a hesitation on my part to spend too much time with them. There is an angst that begins in the pit of my stomach that I cannot control. Again, let me reiterate my statement above. This is NOT caused by any one individual. But it always bothers me. I am not young anymore. Although I still have some insecurities, I think I have a firm grasp of who I am and express it competently in social circles. Except for this one. Around my family I tend to melt into the background. I don't speak much and frequently feel that what I may have to say isn't interesting/intelligent enough for them to hear. And for those of you who know me, this must come as a surprise. Jami, biting her tongue? Choosing not to say anything? Bet some of you would like to hang out with me and my family now, huh?
This behavior has perplexed me since I first noticed it. I think that was when I was living in Florida and only saw my family once a year. I began to notice the anxiety that would begin to swell and would even externalize itself toward my sisters, where the competition for attention can be great. My mother noticed it, too and we've talked about it several times. The me that sat in front of them was not the me I knew any other day.
The other day I was watching an episode of Northern Exposure and one of the characters addressed this very issue. He questioned whether a person's identity is a constant. Or whether who we are is directly influenced by who we are with. It was a fascinating query and I've thought about it even more now that I'm facing another holiday meal with family. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, the answer is definitely yes. Personality traits that I have with one person may diminish or be completely suppressed when I'm with someone else. I will say that, in general, this is only really apparent with my family. Perhaps it's because I'm the youngest daughter. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that my family is very strong-willed, intelligent and persevering. And that makes me question my own strength and determination. I am very proud to say they are my family. But I still find myself melding into the scenery.
So, hear we go. Another family gathering to go to. One plus about this one is that this side of my family doesn't know me as well. Perhaps that will allow me to be more myself. We shall see.

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT
WELL...MAYBE NOT

Generally, I don't like reading the news. It either is too depressing or it just pisses me off; however, I have found a news source that I honestly enjoy reading. Fark is a great site for news that you don't normally see. Some are informative, others are scary or disturbing, and still others are just plain hilarious. I thought I'd share a few items I found recently. Hope you enjoy them, too.

• Man shoots goat after wife wouldn't bring him beer In some Southern counties, she could be divorced for that, perhaps even jailed.
• Welsh villagers want to change the name of a street because it translates to "Masturbation Meadow" Yeah, that'll keep the kids from parking!
• Brits fancy having sex with metalwork. (with pic of the sexy, sexy fence) Don't knock it 'til you try it, I always say.
• Preteen takes a stab at changing his older brother's TV-viewing habits Insert obvious comment about violence on television here.
• High Speed Chase For Diaper Thieves The Coen brothers are suing for copyright infringement.
• Wal-Mart stock clerk gets hit by 18 wheeler. Family sue trucking company and get $800k. Wal-Mart says the money belongs to them As if we needed another reason to hate that damned company!

I could go on forever. Check out the Fark link for lots more fascinating stories. And send me your favorites.

SEARCHING FOR A NEW PATH

I found out yesterday that my roommate will be moving out at the end of December. I'm really bummed about it. We meshed really well. Neither of us got into this situation for any other reason than to help each other out. That's not to say that we didn't grow closer. I might even go so far as to say that we became friends, but that wasn't something that had to happen. It was just a nice bonus. So now I'm trying to decide what to do. I would really like to live alone again, but I don't see that as a possibility in this city. And I would really like to stay in this apartment. For all it's faults (paper thin walls and floor, single-paned windows, screaming kids as neighbors) I do like it here. I have a lot to think about over the next few weeks, since I have to give my landlord 30 days notice if I'm going to leave. I'm open to any help/suggestions out there. Or just send some good mojo my way.
On the plus side-I will start training the new music manager next week. Am looking forward to getting back on the floor. I really miss talking up good books with people. That's not to say that I don't enjoy talking about music or movies, but that damned music department is so confining! I gotta be free!
What else is going on, you ask? Well, I made plans to visit a friend in LA, but they were nixed since I have to save cash now. I've been watching some pretty bad horror movies at Horrorfest, but more about those later perhaps. I finally read a few classics: Catcher In The Rye, Old Man and the Sea, and am finishing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Again, I will blog more later about those. I'm also reading a new book called Mister B Gone which is really interesting. If you want to know what else I've read, there's a really cool site called Library Thing where you can share opinions on books, swap them, and even sign up to read and review new releases before anyone else. Check it out, join it, and add me as a friend. I love hearing about good books.
I've also rediscovered my love for Alaska by rewatching Northern Exposure. Maybe I should move there. I don't know that this time of year would be a good time, but maybe this spring...who knows.
I really need to focus on the positive and remember to laugh more. So send me some good vibes if you get a chance. I also need to get off my ass and start making some cards for the holidays. So if you're on my mailing list and the card is late, it's because I've been lazy. Hopefully that will change.

WHAT HAPPENED IN 1966...

I was talking to a friend recently who told me about things that had happened the year he was born. It got me wondering about the year I was born, so I googled it. Thank you, All Mighty Internet! Here are some highlights of that all-important year in history:

• 01/07: Operation Crimp begins in Vietnam.
• 01/12: Batman the tv series debuts.
• 03/04: John Lennon makes the statement, "We (the Beatles) are more popular than Jesus."
• 04/30: Anton LaVey founds the Church of Satan.
• 05/16: Cultural Revolution is started by Mao Zedong and the Communist Party in China.
• 06/13: Supreme Court rules in Miranda v. Arizona that police must inform suspects of their rights before questioning.
• 06/27: Dark Shadows debuts on ABC.
  
• 08/23: Lunar Orbiter 1 takes the first photo of Earth.
• 09/13: THE most important day of the year, duh!
  
• 10/06: LSD is declared illegal in the US.
• 10/22: The Supremes become the first all-female group to have a #1 selling album.
  
• 11/08: Edward Brooke becomes first African-American elected to US Senate.
• 11/30: Barbados becomes independent.
• 12/16: Mao's Little Red Book is published in Beijing.
  
• 12/26/66: First Kwanzaa is celebrated.

I also know of one more thing that happened that year. My mom told me that the doctor was worried that he would miss the premiere of the new show, The Girl From U.N.C.L.E., if her labor took too long. Luckily, I was in a hurry to arrive. Seems like I've always been considerate.
If you're interested in finding out what happened the year you were born, I found the info at Spiritus-Temporis.com. Check it out. It's a cool site.

• One's first step in wisdom is to question everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything. George C. Lichtenberg
• Art will remain the most astonishing activity of mankind born out of struggle between wisdom and madness, between dream and reality in our mind. Magdalena Abakanowicz
• The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself. Archibald MacLeish
• To hell with reality! I want to die in music, not in reason or in prose. People don't deserve the restraint we show by not going into delirium in front of them. To hell with them! Louis-Ferdinand Celine
• First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. Epictetus
  

SITTING OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE AND THROWING ROCKS

That is a quote Don Henley made in an article in Rocky Mountain News when asked about people who criticize the Eagles for exclusively selling their new album at Wal-Mart. I have been looking for some way to contact the band to tell them what I think. And what the majority of customers think that have come to my store looking to buy it. We all think it sucks! Some of them have even said that they will wait until it is released elsewhere rather than step foot in one of those stores. I love those customers! He made the comment that the only people who are griping are those who don't like the Eagles. Well guess what Don, I did like the band. DID! He says they were approached by Wal-Mart and decided that it was the best way to "get the most cds out there to the most people..." I know this is all business, but you can choose who you're going to get in bed with on these things. Do you really want to willingly lie down with someone who is so deceptive, dishonest, and disgusting? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they should take a stand on every issue out there. But come on...Wal-Mart? Who wants to be attached to that company. Oh, but I forgot. According to Mr. Henley, "they're mounting a serious effort to do something about (their track record)." Sure Don, can you be more specific on that? Here's a challenge. Please, anyone, verify what he's saying is true. Tell me what Wal-Mart is doing. I'd love to know. In the mean time, so long Eagles. I'll be listening to you again, if you ever find your collective balls!

CITY OF THE SILENT...

For as long as I can remember, I have loved cemeteries. We had several cool ones in my home town and I even did some rubbings. I can't explain where the interest came from, perhaps my mother, but I tend to seek out the quiet and calm amongst the idols of the dead. When I was still in MI I bought this book. It explains the iconography of headstones. I never realized that every flower, vine, celestial image, and group of letters represents something. Obviously, most cemetery symbolism has religious meaning, but it has been fascinating to learn why. The book contains numerous beautiful photographs as examples. When I moved to NorCal I realized that several photos came from Colma, a city just south of San Francisco. I promised myself I would go.
I finally fulfilled that promise a few weeks ago. Before I left, I did a little research to find maps and such. Come to find out Colma, California has more deceased residents than living. That is why it is also known by the title of this blog. Colma is largely just cemeteries. As San Fransisco grew, the 'smart' people realized that they needed that valued land for more important things like shopping malls and condos, thus they moved the bodies of thousands of people into mass graves. Not everyone was just dumped there, though. There are many famous people buried in Colma: William Randolph Hearst, Wyatt Earp, the Emperor of America, and Joe DiMaggio are just a few. I saw all but the last one.
The quote from the previous blog came from the headstone pictured there. It was written on the back. I read it and felt compelled to share it. The headstone is just one of many beautiful stones and statues I saw there. There is a more detailed picture of the dog and turtle on that headstone as well as several pictures at this site. Check them out and tell me what you think.
I am definitely going back sometime soon. There are many more beautiful things to see there.