GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS KIDS...

Yes, that's right. I have nothing original to say, so it's time to share more wisdom from the sages.

• ACTION "The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." Albert Einstein
• DREAMS "The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." Anais Nin
• IMMORTALITY "I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever." Amy Tan
• REALITY "I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal." Groucho Marx

SOMETHING NEW...

Usually I share lyrics that have special meaning, but I thought I might try to share some videos as well.
I've mentioned before how important Linkin Park's album Meteora has been to me over the years. The song,"Breaking the Habit", has both incredibly powerful lyrics and an amazing video. Check it out.

BREAKING THE HABIT
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That i'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Breaking the Habit
Tonight

YA GOTTA LOVE THE WEB...

So I'm reading this book, Day Watch, that is the second in a trilogy. It is a fascinating allegory of the battle within every person to be altruistic or egoistic. I may address this subject in a later blog; however, the focus of this blog is the author's use of Russian music in the telling of the story. I'm not talking about folk music filled with sad notes played on a balalaika, but modern artists like Aria, Vladimir Vysotsky, and Kipelov. After reading the lyrics in the books, I thought it would be interesting to hear the music. I was successful in finding a site that actually has their music. It's not bad. It might be categorized as "80's hair band" in the states. Here is the lyrics that I really liked in the book and you can listen to a sample if you click on the title:

I Am Free

There is a silence above me,
A sky full of rain,
The rain goes straight through me,
But there's no more pain.
While stars whispered coldly,
We burned our final bridge.
And everything has tumbled into the abyss
I shall be free From evil and good,
My soul's been walking the razor's edge.
I'm free! Like a bird in the heavens.
I'm free! I've forgotten the meaning of fear.
I'm free! I am the wild wind's equal.
I'm free! In the real world, not in a dream.
There is silence above me,
The sky full of fire,
The light goes straight through me,
But I'm free once again,
Free from love,
Free from hate and from rumors,
From a fate foretold in advance
And from earthly shackles,
From evil and from good.
My soul no longer holds a place for you.

A WISH LIST OF SORTS...

It just dawned on me that a year ago I was flying home after spending an amazing 10 days in Germany. Thanks to a wonderful friend whose generosity I will never be able to repay, I was able to visit Neuschwanstein Castle among other beautiful places.
I started thinking and compiled a short list of places I'd like to go and things I'd like to see and do. Mind you, this is a very concise list. I could never put everything in one blog entry. Thought if I put these few in my blog they could be a reminder and encouragement.

I want to...

DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!

You know your day at work is going to be great when you see a plastic tent in the corner with a sign that reads:

DANGER
MICROBIAL HAZARD

Yeah, that's comforting! So what is a microbial hazard, you ask? dictionary.com defines a 'microbe' as a pathogenic bacterium or a bacterium that causes disease. Basically, it means scary shit behind the curtain. How much am I getting paid to be here?
Why is this happening? Let's go back two days...Saturday night, I was walking around, helping customers and straightening the cds when I noticed the carpet in front of the emergency door was soaked with water and debris. I called a manager back to the department to see if they knew anything about it. Not a clue. No surprise there! The manager then called the rental property who called 'security'. (I use quotes because that is only a title, to say these people make you feel secure is to say our present administration is doing a fine job!) Anyhoo, they came and looked at the carpet and the hall on the other side of the door and could see no other way it had happened, but that we had done it. Right, we have a chronic problem with dumping filthy water in the corner of the music department. After failing to convince them that there was no way we could have done it, I decided to check cctv to see if it showed a possible cause. Sure enough, at 12:17 pm there was the culprit. Out of nowhere a pile of suds (yes, I mean bubbles) appeared. It must have been no less than six inches deep. It rushed in from under the door and slowly soaked into the carpet. This morning some cleaning company came and cut a hole in the wall between the music department and kids to see if the wall was damaged. I have a fixture in that corner made of particle board which absorbed enough water to ruin the base. And the dude sprayed some anti-viral stuff to prevent anthrax or something. And the rental property is still saying it's our fault. You know what I say? "Barnes & Noble, sick balls!" (that's from a movie-the sick balls part-if you don't know which one, ask me).
Anyway, long story short, I now have to wear a level 4 hazmed suit to show customers where Carrie Underwood is.


I hope they let me keep the suit!

• "Compassion is the radicalism of our time." HH the Dalai Lama

• "We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything." Blaise Pascal
  

• "They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." Benjamin Franklin

• "If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." Buddha

packing was the weirdest thing...i'd say that i've ever done, but i don't know what i've done...i felt as if i were stealing everything...i rummaged through the closet and packed all the clothes, shoes, books, and cds i thought i might need...i found a credit card and two debit cards...don't know the pins, but i should be able to use them anyway...luckily, there was only one honda on the street...after i put everything in the car i went back to the apartment to leave a note for the person who lived there...your basic 'i'm sorry, but i have amnesia and i'm leaving to find myself' kind of note...i was pleasantly surprised to see a map of the u.s. in the car...the good news is that i'm on the west coast...that eliminates driving west...as i drove down a nearby street, i saw a sign for palm reading...what the hell...maybe the answer is in my hand...as i walked in the door she looked at me and said, you are about to start a long journey...must have seen my car as i pulled up...i can't give you a reading...i'm sorry, i know i didn't have an appointment, i just thought you could...that's not why...to see your future, i must see your past...as you don't have a past, i can't give you a reading...what do you mean...of course i have a past...you woke this morning and had no idea who you are...you can't remember anything...i'm sorry, but i can't help you find the answers you seek...can you at least tell me what i should do to find them...why do you feel you need to know who you were...or why this has happened to you...perhaps it happened to you because you wanted it to...what do you mean...i wanted this to happen to me...i don't know...all i can see is that your aura is filled with contentment...that makes me think that, in some way, you wanted this to happen...maybe you have wanted to start over for so long that when you went to sleep last night, your desire was so strong it became reality...so you think my journey should not be about finding out who i am...this is a gift...you can completely reinvent yourself...what if you did find out who you were and you don't like who that person was...there are a multitude of people who wish they could forget their past and start over...now's your chance...but what if i didn't want this to happen...what if i liked the person i was...then why have you abandoned that person...your life starts now...you can waste what is left of it searching for what was...or embrace that you know nothing and begin to experience life anew...i stood there staring at her for several moments...i hated to admit that she made some sense...how much do i owe you...i haven't given you a reading...you owe me nothing...but you've given me some clarity...surely that's worth something...just go live the life you are meant to live...live it to the best of your ability...that's payment enough...

i decided not to go to 'work'...since i don't know who i am i won't know what to do there...besides, it will be obvious very quickly that i'm nutso and then it's off to the hospital...loads of tests...and questions which i can't answer...because i have no idea what has happened...i need to find out more about this person i was...the clothes in the closet fit...they must be mine...now i know what style i'm supposed to like...i found a driver's license so now i'm sure of my name...but the phone book says i'm in california and the license is from michigan...focus...that is an answer i won't find in this room...there was an address book on the desk...none of the names seem familiar...there were a few with the same last name as mine...family?...one of the names is in michigan and the others are here...did i grow up here...FOCUS...again another answer which won't be found in this room...i looked through the contact list in the cell phone...i don't know these people...are they friends...or were they friends...most of the numbers have area codes out of michigan...so maybe i'm from there...should i call someone...and say what...hi you know me but i don't know you or me...funny farm time...that is not the kind of conversation you have on the phone...and who would i call...who knows me best...who are my parents...do i have any sisters or brothers...friends...SHIT...FOCUS...that's it...i'm not going to learn anything more by sitting in this strange room...snooping through things that are mine...i'm going to pack up what i think i'll need...i found some car keys in the purse...i hope there aren't a lot of honda's parked outside...

i woke up this morning in a strange room...i looked out the window and didn't know where i was...i went into the bathroom and didn't know the face looking back at me...well it looked vaguely familiar...like someone you pass every day, but never speak to...i was terrified...what do i do...i went out into the living room and saw a phone book...i live in San Jose, Ca...i wasn't sure what to do next...so i took a shower...i looked on the desk where i had awoke and there was a piece of paper with what appeared to be a work schedule written on it...but where do i work...there were no clues on the desk so i looked in the purse...i found a pay stub that told me both where i work and what my name is...at least i think so...might not be my purse...should i go there...and which there is it...there are six different stores in the phone book...i turned on the laptop on the desk...i remember how to do the most mundane things...but i don't know who i am...yahoo.maps says one of the stores is right down the street...maybe i should go there and see what happens...

BLOG #2

"What I've Done"

In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi.
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done.

Put to rest,
What you thought of me.
While I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty.

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done.

For What I’ve Done

I'll start again,
And whatever pain may come.
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving what I’ve done.

I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done.
What I’ve done.

Forgiving What I’ve Done.

Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight

WHAT THE FARK?

I heard about a book the other day that sounds fascinating. It's called It's Not News, It's Fark. Apparently Mr. Drew Curtis set up a website almost 10 years ago that deals with news that isn't necessarily 'normal.' The book is a compilation of strange, funny, unbelievable, etc. news that he has posted.

Well I can't find this book anywhere in the store. It says that we got it (10 copies), but no one has seen it. For those of you who have never worked with computerized inventory, this is clear proof that just because the all mighty computer says we have it, that don't mean shit til you actually have it in your hand.

I decided to actually go to the site and it does have some truly interesting news. And this is not just from obscure news sources. Often they come from reputable news agencies like CNN.com. So I thought I'd share some of the headlines and if you're interested in checking it out, click here.

• Cable repairman accused of fondling a woman for about seven minutes and then stopping without finishing. So, in other words, typical Comcast service. Chicago-Sun Times
• Dutch students have developed powdered alcohol which they say can be sold legally to minors. Yahoo News
• 11-year old boy arrested for playing with rubber band gun. WFTV.com (Curtis gives a description of each story-strange, stupid, sad, etc.-this one just says florida and that says it all!)

And finally

• Trashy mall-fight mom sent to prison for beating up girls for her daughters - for a second time. WBZtv.com (this one has pictures!)

That one brought back fond memories of when my mom and I used to go to the mall together...and beat people down?

IN A FUNK

I'm not quite sure what's up with me lately. I've been feeling down a lot. Not monstrously, just enough to be annoying. Oddly enough, the mood hasn't followed me to work. Normally I take pleasure in being alone, but not so much lately. I've been enjoying the time spent with others more than being by myself. You'd think I would be fine with that, but I'm a loner. Always have been. I don't like it when I'm not happy being alone. I've got a long drive coming up and am looking forward to it. Long periods of time in my car help clear my head.

Anyway, I thought I'd look for some quotes that might cheer me up. I've been told I'm addicted. Why not? I can think of many other things that would be worse addictions.

Well, here goes. Hope they help and you enjoy them, too.

• The Procrastinator's Creed:
  1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
  2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. Unknown
• Solitude "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self." May Sarton
• Friendship "Friendship with oneself is all important because without it one cannot be friends with anybody else in the world." Eleanor Roosevelt

And finally on the lighter side:

• Bushism "Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country." You know who