I've been watching the news and the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and it is incredible. Ironically, I have also been reading "The Art of Happiness" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. He speaks of several things that are pertinent to what is happening. The Dalai Lama says that one of the most integral parts of being happy is feeling compassion for others. I am definitely able to do that for all the people effected. I saw one man who had to escape the rising waters by climbing onto the roof of his home. He, his wife and his son held on for as long as they could when suddenly the house broke in half. As his wife began to slip away from him, she told him to let her go and take care of their son. When the news crew found him he was wandering the streets with his son. The helplessness was written all over his face. He has lost both his wife and his home. I think only the hardest person could not have compassion for him.

The other thing the Dalai Lama talks about is making the most of every day. It is important to utilize every moment to its fullest because there is no way to know how many more we will have. This is painfully obvious today in the face of the devastation people are waking up to.

It is unfortunate that it takes a catastrophe like this to remind people of how precious life is. It is equally unfortunate how quickly people can forget the importance of simple pleasures like sitting with friends or taking a walk. Our focus should be on living life to its fullest.

I strongly recommend everyone read this book.

Independence Day is near!

Nine months ago I moved home after years of living on my own. My mother was extremely generous and allowed me into her home without paying anything. She did everything to make me feel welcome and gave me as much space as her small house could afford. I will be eternally grateful for this; however, I have spent this time feeling more and more limited both by living with someone and by the fact that I live so far away from the friends I have. It hasn't been too bad living with my mother, but it has been a little strained at times. Imagine living at home again after being away for nearly half your life. How long do you think you could keep your sanity? I have to be honest, I don't know if it was living with my mother or just the fact that I was living with someone again. I have been completely independent for a long time. Even when I lived with my then-fiance he never supported me (a fact of which I am extremely proud.)

Initially, I moved in to get out of the massive debt I had accumulated in Florida and I have succeeded in doing that for the most part, but I was waiting to move until the debt was gone. Let's be honest, there are very few people who can say they don't owe anything. Debt is unfortunately a fact of life in the good ol' US of A. Capitalism at it's best! I suddenly remembered that I had always been able to support myself when I was in that tremendous debt, so it should be much easier now that my debt has been trimmed to a minimal amount. So I have taken the leap. Today I found myself a place to live, somewhere I can finally feel at home.

The fact is I thrive on independence. I love being alone. When I moved 1200 miles away, I immediately moved into my own place. I won't be so bold as to say that I never felt anxious or lonely, but that anxiety disappeared and I quickly learned the difference between being lonely and being alone. Feeling lonely is a hinderence. It slows you from what you want to do. It evokes words like wallowing, self-pity, and suffering. Being alone is enlightening. You can focus your energies better by being alone. You can learn so much about yourself by spending time away from other people. Not to mention the fact that you can run around the house completely naked singing and dancing and there ain't no one there to give you that inevitable "your crazy" look. That's what I'm really looking forward to.

In the end I would much rather struggle and be independent than have someone support me and feel empty.

What defines a "good life?" Is it the length of time we spend on this planet? Or the actions we take toward those around us? Perhaps it is measured in the accomplishments we make. There are many who believe that they need to acquire things to fulfill their lives. Still others believe that a good life is achieved by following a set of 'rules' carved in stone brought down from a mountain. If you follow these 'rules' you will be rewarded at the time of your death with eternal happiness. I don't follow that belief at all primarily because I don't think life ends with death. Death is just one stage in our existence. It will occur over and over as we are reincarnated. I believe that our purpose in life is finding the answers that we need to reach omniscience. The journey to achieve this state is what defines a life. The people we meet, the experiences we encounter, the things we learn are all a part of this quest. I believe that a good life is measured by our experiences, by the lives we touch, and those lives that touch us.
The irony of life is that many people (myself included) easily forget this. We often measure our lives by the most trivial of things. Money, success, acceptence. We feel stressed by trying to achieve these things and are consumed by this compulsion; however, none of these things will be carried on to the next life. Their importance only exists now. I was reminded of this because of the passing of two people this week. One I knew for a very short time and one I never had the pleasure to meet; however, both have had a profound effect on me.
The first person was my favorite manager at work. He went out of his way to help everyone. He always acknowledged hard work with genuine praise and acclaim. He was the first person to make me feel truly welcome in a new place. He did this every time he saw me. I learned about his life through the fascinating stories he shared. We laughed every day. He was a constant source of support and encouragement. In short, he has been one of the biggest influences in my life and I didn't even know him a year.
The second person was a young girl I learned about three months ago. She was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor late last year at the young age of seven. Despite every attempt to prolong her life, she lost her battle earlier this week. She was a beautiful young girl who was full of life. She was surrounded by people who loved her. She always had a positive outlook. Even when she was in constant pain, she made people smile. In the short time she spent here, she touched so many people and reminded us of the importance of living every day to its fullest.
Although I am sad that she has gone and am even more devestated that I won't get to see my boss again, the best way to honor their lives is to remember their strengths and to focus not on what may occur weeks, months, or years away, but to concentrate on today. It is paramount that we live every day to its fullest, experiencing everything around us, extracting every piece of knowledge and enjoying the simplest of pleasures. This may sound like a hallmark card, but what the hell, it's my way of dealing with grief. And there is no wrong way to grieve. It is equally ironic that it takes loss to remind us of how much we have missed in life. I am newly resolved in living my life as simply and happily as I am able.
To Michael and Katie, I say thank you for everything you have given me!

Another great independent movie...
I am happy to say that there are still films being made that are original, well-made, and extremely entertaining. Case in point: The Station Agent. It is a wonderful 'day-in-the-life-of' movie. The story revolves around Fin, a dwarf who loves trains. He lives a simple, quiet life until the sudden death of his only friend. He then inherits a small train depot in the boondocks of New Jersey. He moves there with the hope of escaping a life of stares and comments. His life is forever changed by the people he meets there.
I absolutely love this kind of film. Yes, we need the big action movies and films made entirely to win oscars, but sometimes the best way to escape the dredges of life is to watch another person's day-to-day struggles. No matter how mundane, I think it is fascinating to see the simplest of character developments. I have often envied the ability many screenwriter's possess to create characters who are both multi-layered and very simple. That doesn't sound possible, but I've seen it several times. Films like "Being There" starring Peter Sellers, "Chocolat" starring Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp, and most recently "Garden State", an incredible first-time film written and directed by Zach Braff who also brings to life the incredibly ordinary