AH, FLORIDA...

So I'm enjoying the news at my favorite news source, Fark, when I realize something. If you go to the sight, you'll see that every story is lead by a heading, such as 'stupid', 'interesting', 'dumbass', and so forth. I wasn't the least surprised to see that Florida is a category all it's own. If you live there as long as I have, you'll understand why.
I thought, for shits and giggles and because I really have nothing else to blog about, I'd share some of the stories. So fasten your seatbelt cuz here comes the hilarity:

• Doctor discovers man's chest pains the result of having Jesus trapped in his ribcage. Trust me, Floridians can see the image of Jesus in anything.
• One man shot, one plastic snowman decapitated after neighborly argument in... wait for it... all together now... Florida. Doesn't this time of year bring out the best in people? My favorite line in this story..."it is rumored that a snowman was decapitated."
  
• Mother shocked, SHOCKED, to find out her precious snowflake does the same things she does. With the same guy. But no where in the article does it say she's shocked that her 13 year-old daughter's screen name is SexiMarie 123.
• You've just robbed a bank. Do you A) try to run far, far away, B) hide until things have settled down, or C) stop for hair extensions and a manicure? I have nothing to say about this one. It speaks for itself.
• The winner of the ugliest house in America is in Florida... was there a doubt? It's no shock when Disney has this building for Team Disney.

You can read the actual articles by going to Fark and following the links, but why bother. The headlines leave just enough of a bad taste to steer you away. Now do you understand how, after spending 18 years in Florida, I get utterly bored with any other news?