A GIFT FOR ALL...

As usual, this season has shown both the best and worst of people. Since I'm desperately poor and not sure I want to participate in mass commercialism because of "the holiday season", (a topic to be further addressed in my next blog), I felt I'd share a little cheap joy.

I just finished listening to David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day which includes several tracks not in the book. I hope reading this will help you welcome the new year with much needed laughter.

POEMS ABOUT DOGS

By David Sedaris

Most every evening Goldilocks

Snacks from Kitty's litter box

Then on command she gives her missus

Lots of little doggie kisses

The Deaver's errant pitbull, Cass

Bit the postman on the ass

Her lower teeth destroyed his sphincter

Now his walk's a bit distincter.

A naughty Saint Bernard named Don

Finds Polly's kotex in the john

He holds the blood steak in his jaws

And mourns her coming menopause.

Dachsund, Skip, from Winnepeg

Loves to hump his master's leg

Every time he gets it up he

Stains Bill's calves with unborn puppy.

Each night old Bowser licks his balls

Than falls asleep til nature calls

He poops a stool then though it's heinous

bends back down and licks his anus.

What can I say, I love dogs....and bad poetry. Happy New Year!