GOODBYE IS NOT FAREWELL

I found out last night that I lost a friend Thursday night. I'm not sad today. Rather, I am enjoying all the good memories of her. I thought I'd share them with anyone who wants to know...

Her name is DD. I worked with her at Red Lobster in FL. I think the thing I respect the most about her is how she always told you the truth. If you are thin-skinned, don't ask her opinion, cuz you'll get it...straight up, not watered down. She never sugar-coated anything. I was going through some serious relationship problems then and she told me exactly what she thought I should do. I didn't want to hear it, but she wound up being right. She may have been harsh, but she always had my best interests in mind.

A lot of people at work didn't like her at first because she was all business. She worked hard-harder than people more than half her age-and the "kids" didn't respect that in her. We got along fine because I shared her work ethic. And what many of those youngsters finally learned was that DD was a riot. She may have been serious about work, but not about life. She loved to laugh and had a great sense of humor.

She was devoted to family. She has two daughters and one son and told us about all of their accomplishments with great pride. She had lost her husband a few years before I met her, but you could feel the love she still felt for him. To get a true sense of who she was, you only had to walk into her apartment. It was decorated in the Southwest/Country style she loved. Her walls were adorned with wonderful pictures of her family. And in a spare bedroom, her "piggy bank," a real slot machine would call out to you enticing you to feed it.

Several of us from work went over there a few times for a night of cards. Raquel, Tara, Sasha, DD, and I would spend hours playing Uno, eating delicious egg salad sandwiches that DD made, drinking, and laughing. And laughing. And laughing. I really miss those nights.

I found out that she had become ill last April when I went to FL for a visit. I was fortunate to have lunch with her and do some catching up. Although she did seem weak, she was the same DD-still laughing that great laugh of hers. My friend Raquel had left me a message Thursday night. It was too late to call back, but something made me think that DD was gone. Friday after work, I got another message from Raquel. I called her back so she could tell me what I already knew. She said that she had this uncontrollable need to see DD in the hospital on Thursday. Someone from work told her that DD had wanted her nails painted, so Raquel said that did it. She and a few friends bought some polish and went to see her. Although she looked bad, Raquel assured me she was the same DD. She even flipped off Patrick when he made a snide comment. That's our DD. I'm so glad Raquel had the chance to say goodbye.

I've lost several people in my life. And for some reason, it seems to get easier each time. I came to terms with death many years ago. I don't see it as an end. It is the beginning of the next incarnation in a long journey toward complete happiness and peace. I am excited for DD and her new journey. I know these words won't come as much comfort to those who miss her, but DD wouldn't want people to wallow in sadness. "Snap out of it," she'd say. "Have a beer for me!" And then she'd laugh.

I won't miss you, DD. I will remember you! You are forever in my heart.